Another Video?

I couldn't help but share this. I love Regina Spektor--running out to buy her new album today!

Your Moment of Zen

I have no words to describe the feeling of joy this gives me...

Dare to Dream

In June of 1995, my mother was one of the 29 finalists for Entrepreneur of the Year in the Philadelphia region. I remember entering the banquet with her and my father, smelling food wafting from the kitchen doors, hearing the classy tunes played over the din of the crowd, feeling my itchy tights required by an outfit I surely did not approve of (I was 12). And while my mom was ushered away by her PR people, answering questions and posing for photographs with the other nominees, my dad leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Do you know what this piece of music is?” I shook my head, “It’s from Yanni’s album ‘Dare to Dream.’” He smiled at me and gave a look as if to say: This is what happens when you do…

I’ve been proud of my mother on many occasions: when she lost a hundred pounds after retiring at the age of 41, when she aced me in tennis for the first time, and just about every time she successfully cracks a joke (rare though that may be). She is an incredible woman and I feel so honored to know her, to love her, and to be respected by her. Often, we don’t look at our parents with an objective lens. We see the people who held us back from our potentially dangerous teenage adventures, the people who pushed us to study harder and miss out on all the fun, or the people who ignored our feelings for the sake of what was “good” for us. When our lives are so closely entwined with another’s, sometimes it’s hard to take the broad view of their person, to step back and appreciate their lives for all they are worth. Personally, I find my feelings of love for my mom and dad so intense that when I try to absorb the enormity of their accomplishments and all their value—independent even, of my own life, I find myself overwhelmed. But most of all, I find myself so incredibly empowered by their support, so comforted by their encouragement, and so loved by each of them.

Presently, my life is in a state of upheaval; things are at a bit of a crossroads for me. Just instinctually, I know it’s time to make a major change and I’m gearing up for a big step. I believe I have met the love of my life. We’re so well-matched in every way. She gives me a sense of strength and stability, she inspires and appreciates me every day, and she fits so perfectly into my close circle of friends and family—it’s impossible to deny our connection. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a mate, everything I ever dreamed of— with one prayer so accurately answered, I’ve become hyper-aware of my wishes for the future. Be careful what you wish for, you will get it.

For some reason, the good Lord granted me the gift of this love, and then whisked it away to Chicago. My darling transferred there for work a few months ago, and has shown me a whole new world in a beautiful new city. Once upon a time, New York was my heart, my home; but now it seems to have moved—and so must I. This city has lost its luster for me, not permanently I hope; but right now, I find it to be a lonely place. Even more so than in my single years, I think the city is empty for me now because the possibility that I will find love here no longer exists. I always felt, even in my most solitary hour, that New York held infinite possibilities for the most amazing fulfillment, (on all fronts); and any struggle that I might feel was just part of the work, earning my way toward contentment, toward a comfortable life filled with all kinds of successes. But this is no longer the case. Now, when I picture my next big achievements, my celebrations, my bliss—I don’t see them here.

There’s a fortune I get periodically from my Chinese-food treats at the end of these meals, and that is this: “Where your heart lies, there your treasure will be also.” And my heart, up until recently, has always been in New York. So it seemed only logical that I would live and work here. But my heart lies elsewhere now; and so, I surmise, must my fortune. I must venture into uncharted territory—that unknown land called the Mid-West. And as I dare to dream of a life more satisfying, one where I’m as excited to go to work each morning as I am to return to my loving home each night, I find myself energized, excited, exhilarated to make this move. I’m conducting my job-search in Chicago right now. I know my next career move will be a big one, one that satisfies my dreams, that answers my prayers in the same way that my romantic needs were met—and I’m thrilled at this new development.

I downloaded that Yanni album tonight. I researched one track I found particularly engaging: “Felitsa.” This is a woman’s name meaning: “with good luck, fortune, happiness.” As it turns out, Yanni composed and named this piece for his mother. My mother’s name is Felicia. Coincidence? I think not.

INSPIRATION:

Obviously, I haven't been as dedicated to my writing in the past few months as in previous times. I continue to search for new inspiration, to try and find a way to peacefully coexist with my own creative spirit and not to lose my sense of humor. I'd love to share this tidbit a friend sent me. This is Elizabeth Gilbert giving one of the "Ted Talks." Enjoy!

Cali at Fault

And right now, California itself looks like a giant zit on the face of America.


I cannot. Do it. Again.

I cannot muster the energy to tell California what an a-hole it is again. I can however, hope that New York steps up soon and puts that left-coast loser in its place. My sincerest apologies to all of the wonderful gays and good people who do reside in the "Golden" state; but I'm exhausted from the beating our people are taking in your political arenas.

Like a volcanic explosion, this issue seems to be inspiring vomitus vitriol, hot poisonous ideas from the dregs of the earth erupting and spreading their slow, steaming, sludge all over the beautiful shiny society--proving once again that the old ways will rule when they see fit.

Basically, from what I can gather, it went down like this: in 2008, the Cali supreme court said gay marriage would be legal in the state. Then the homophobes and crazy religious types pushed Prop 8 onto the ballet in November. The A-holes voted to make gay marriage illegal. Then this was appealed, once again to the Cali supreme court, and yesterday they ruled that marriage is defined narrowly--between a man and a woman only. However, the 18,000 gay couples who got married in that short window of time are still legally married. WHAT. THE. FUCK. I'm sorry, I never curse here on PWA, but this issue has me hot and bothered. It's inconceivable to me that some people's marriages are legal and others aren't--but to further extend this charade and say now that some GAY marriages are legal--Because the courts made a booboo? Because they know this is total nonsense? Because they really don't care about justice, equal rights, liberty for ALL?--makes them look asinine.

The only thought giving me any consolation at the moment is one I came upon in the fourth grade. When thinking of this faulty state and it's faulty logic, and it's faulty faults running through that fault-lined hunk of land, I like to think this thought: One day, California will blast itself off the side of America and the Pacific Ocean will swallow it whole. Now, if only we could get all the good people in New York that weekend. Hmmm....maybe they'll do a Rent revival somewhere around that time.

Ellen DeGeneres

I'm not sure how to introduce this without melting into a mushy sap. I love this woman, I'm so proud to have common ground with such an incredible person.

Enjoy this:

I'm So Gay

Hello Friends!

Last week I had a fantastic time with Ken & Becca of "This Show is So Gay" on WVEW 107.7 FM (Vermont) chatting about comedy, careers, and general craziness. They're a great pair and their podcast/radio show is tons of fun to listen to. I'm always obliged to share my musical tastes, and Ken asked me for four of my favorite songs. I was in a party mood when I made the list, so I went with these:

Black & Gold (Sam Sparrow)
Sisters are Doin It For Themselves (Eurythmics)
I'm a Lady (Santogold)
Do You Love Me (Amanda Jenson)

However, at the moment, I can't stop listening to this one on repeat. Enjoy:
Erotica/You Thrill Me (Madonna on the "Confessions Tour")


Not sure if it's the catchy familiarity of it all, or if it's just the hotness of the Madonna factor...probs the latter. I'm so gay.